A Concept Album in Sixteen Shifts
re: Cubicle 13
A marionette clocks in at 7:10 AM and doesn't stop twitching until 2:11 AM — every string pulled by a printer, a microwave, a Zoom call, a vending machine. Nobody asked the puppet if it wanted the job.
re: Cubicle 13 — album art
Who's Pulling the Strings
A workday told from the inside of a puppet
The Bard of Bizarre is an experimental act built from AI-generated sound and imagery — currently a clown with an honorary PhD in Comedic Science, performing under the stage name Doc Leo (a promotion from the probationary clown name "Dr. Leonardo" — full clown status means less academic-sounding, apparently). re: Cubicle 13 is his debut concept album: sixteen tracks following one marionette through one cursed 9-to-5, minute by minute, betrayal by betrayal. The alarm clock lies first. The printer catches fire by 9:27. By 2:11 AM, the marionette is still twitching, still awake, still not off the clock.
Track by Track
One Shift. Sixteen Betrayals.
Every track is timestamped to the minute — this is the whole cursed day, start to finish.
AM
Time Is a Flat Liar
Dramatic betrayal of the alarm clock — the day starts wrong
Melodramatic synth-pop ballad. Naive optimism curdles into theatrical outrage — a clock-faced Judas in a suit and tie, handing over silver coins while the calendar cackles in Helvetica Bold.
AM
The Cursed Brewer's Soliloquy
Shakespearean despair over decaf — trust erodes
Baroque indie folk with bitter jazz textures. "O Coffee Maker! Thou traitor of dawn" — a regal, absurd lament for a cup of lukewarm sludge.
AM
Buttoned Up, Butt Taken Hostage
Playful panic — dressing becomes a physical fight
Funky alternative rock. Zippers snap like a devil's grin. The pants have staged a coup.
AM
Locked Out, Keys Laughing
Suburban tragedy — locked out and losing control
Post-punk with sarcastic spoken word. Jagged guitars for a man interrogating his own front door.
AM
Sent to Print. Never Seen Again.
Office chaos crescendo — the printer becomes a demonic foe
Industrial rock, glitchy printer horror. "Impressus malum, clausus in tenebris." The tray is on fire. Karen never got her W-2.
AM
Choose a Temperature, You Coward!
Metalcore microwave meltdown — rage over a betrayed lunch
Comedy metal meets operatic screamo. A dino-nugget tray that is simultaneously lava and Ice Age.
AM
The Cottage Cheese Conspiracy
Humiliating follow-up — lunch tries to ruin you again
Quirky chamber pop, orchestral pettiness. A stolen snack explodes publicly. The label reads "Karen, 2003."
PM
Mandatory Misery
Glitchy despair — an HR Zoom call induces an identity crisis
Glitchy synthwave, ambient breakdowns. "You're still on mute." (And honestly, maybe that's for the best.)
PM
Data Wrangled Me First
Data-driven dread — the numbers are sentient and judging
Nerdcore hip-hop, anxiety loops. "Live Site_REAL_Final_ACTUAL_DO_NOT_DELETE_V3_B_FINAL" has twelve open tabs and no mercy.
PM
All for One, Nuts for Me
Bluesy betrayal — the vending machine twists the knife
Twangy blues rock, doom country. Pressed A4 for Three Musketeers. Got nuts. Justice was never sweet.
PM
Road to Somewhere, Maybe
Psychedelic drift — the post-work commute turns surreal
Psychedelic rock, dreamy distortion. "Recalculating." A GPS that will not let the day end.
PM
I Just Wanted Soup
Punk grocery-store meltdown — overwhelmed by the soup aisle
Chaotic punk rock. "Simple Soup — just heat and eat at home!" No soup. Just surrender.
PM
Toast Was Always Plan B
Quiet surrender — dinner is just warm bread now
Minimalist indie folk, deadpan vocals. Resigned peace with a hint of defiance. The toaster delivers.
PM
The Couch Sucks Me In
Dreamy apathy — comfort becomes a slow-motion trap
Slowcore / dreampop, ambient decay. "Are you okay?" "Yeah. Just… buffering."
PM
Spit in Grief
Baroque hygiene melodrama — even toothpaste turns on you
Melancholic baroque pop. "I brush with hope. I spit in grief." The tube is empty. So is everything else.
AM
Too Tired to Sleep, Somehow
Ambient insomnia — haunted by tomorrow before it starts
Ambient drone, whispercore. "Sleep is for the functioning." The alarm resets. It all happens again in five hours.
Watch
The Marionette, On Camera
One album overview and one song got the video treatment before the Bard moved on. Rest of the channel is on YouTube.
Beyond the Cubicle
Other Songs, Played as Games
The Bard's catalog goes well past this album — several other songs each have a full playable DOS-style game built for them in Game-Maker: Sandbox Edition.
Stream the Whole Shift
Sixteen tracks, one cursed workday, start to finish.
Wearable Evidence
Merch From the Scene of the Crime
Let's Get Weird Together
Fan, journalist, fellow misfit with a collaboration in mind — the Bard wants to hear from you. Just don't ask him to fix your printer. It's still screaming from track 5.