🎽 Featured Items
My Mug Hates Mornings Too: Printed with despair. Infused with sarcasm. Perfect for team meetings you didn’t ask for. Based on the cursed cup in Track #2 of re: Cubicle 13, this mug is here to join you in passive-aggressively surviving another day.
“Choose a Temperature, You Coward!” Hoodie: From the tragicomic depths of re: Cubicle 13 comes this wearable meltdown. Featuring an office marionette mid-breakroom breakdown, arms raised in existential rage, screaming at a cursed microwave with two impossible options: “Ice Age” or “Molten Fury.” The microwave’s reads “Sad Snack,” taunting your fragile hopes with every beep. Whether you’re undercooked or emotionally overdone, this hoodie captures that moment when reheating lunch becomes a philosophical crisis. Front: A small logo reading “Dept. of Mild Chaos” over the heart. Back: Full art print of the marionette showdown. Great for burned-out workers, passive-aggressive appliance survivors, and anyone who’s ever whispered, “I just wanted soup.”
Cubicle Descent of Deadlines Wall Clock: Time isn’t just a flat liar – it’s a winding descent into corporate absurdity. This uniquely surreal wall clock captures a marionette-style office worker trudging down a spiraling tunnel made entirely of cubicle desks. Giant clocks line the desks, stacked and ticking with no clear destination, echoing the endless loops of the workday. Inspired by the opening track from re: Cubicle 13 by The Bard of Bizarre, this clock reminds us that deadlines are eternal, sanity is optional, and time itself may be part of the conspiracy. Hang it wherever productivity dares tread.
“Denied” – Signed, The Printer Rubber Stamp: The perfect stamp for rejecting dreams, memos, or that one spreadsheet with 12 tabs of doom. Inspired by “Sent to Print. Never Seen Again.” on the music album re: Cubicle 13
